


The Ballad of Dorian Pavus

by MissHellfire



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blow Jobs, Dorian is witty and snarky, First Dates, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, damn Cullen is adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 05:23:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18631675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHellfire/pseuds/MissHellfire
Summary: This was a concept work for me; I had a specific goal in mind as to how I wanted it to play out and I am only hoping that I was able to achieve this in a cohesive manner. There are some parts that may be difficult to read as it does address mental illness, self harm, forms of treatment. Also, there's smut because why not?Since I am mostly a loser with no life you can find me lurking on this niftyDiscord!





	1. At Last!

He was still confused with how at ease they had come together and how perfectly they seemed to fit; he could hear Cullen gently snoring and feel the large main curled around him as he slept. Even 5 years, house, a cat, and a domestic ceremony later he was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. He wanted to stretch and get up but the idea of disturbing the sleeping angel next to him was too much. It wasn’t until he felt Cullen stir next to him that he made the decision to move more. 

“Good morning Mr. Rutherford” Cullen said through a yawn. Dorian felt his heart flutter it never got old hearing that when it was said; he leaned over and planted a kiss on Cullen’s forehead. 

“Come on it's time to get up. We have adulting to do and I’ve needed to use the restroom for quite awhile but couldn’t seem to untangle you.” Cullen only laughed and tightened his grip around him. “To bad you aren’t going anywhere.” Dorian laughed wickedly and started to tickle the man, knowing that it would not be something that he would be able to handle; and he was right, Cullen pulled away in an instant, grabbing at a pillow to whack Dorian over the head with. Dorian sat up in shock, grabbing his own pillow and throwing it at Cullen; Cullen groped at the throw pillows scattered about (thank god I let him get all these pillows he thought); Dorian’s eyes widened knowing he wouldn’t be able to win, he ran towards the bathroom instead laughing. Cullen collapsed into the bed, melting into a fit of laughs. 

“Oh you, don’t you go downstairs, I have a surprise for you!”

Dorian poked his head around the door brushing his teeth, “What do you mean you have a surprise for me? What’s the occasion?”

“I can’t just love you and want to spoil you?”

“Oh no darling, I fully expect you to spoil me, I just need to know how to dress for the occasion.”

“You are perfect the way you are…”

Dorian blushed and retreated back to the room “Fine” he called “I will just make the bed, and clean up after you like a good like housewife and await my surprise”

“Good, glad you finally learned your place after all these years”. 

Dorian stomped from the bathroom, with fire in his eyes, ready to set his husband straight, only to see that he was having a hard time keeping a straight face. 

“You make it much too difficult to be angry at you when you look adorable saying stupid things.”

“Yea well, that's why you love me” He led Dorian to a chair, and sat him down “Just stay here, I’ll come get you in a minute”

Dorian sighed and waved him off with a quick flick of his wrist. The seconds seemed like minutes, and the minutes dragged for hours. When it seemed it he had been waiting for 2 days (in reality only about 5 minutes elapsed) Cullen reappeared at the door. He took Dorian’s hand and pulled him up, “close your eyes”, Dorian started to protest but Cullen kissed him to silence and compliance. He led Dorian down the long hallway, his hand over his eyes (just in case), surrounded by the pictures of the life they had built together; Cullen’s family that had embraced Dorian fully and completely, and a network of friends that was more like family; accomplishments and adventures all leading to a perfect future. He finally stopped Dorian, and pulled his hand aside. 

Dorian gasped and his hands flew to his mouth, Cullen had transformed their quant living room into a fantasy world of flowers and candles with the faint sound of music in the back. 

At last… my love…. 

“But why” was all he managed to whisper. 

“Because I love you silly, and 6 years ago today I had enough sense to send you a one word message, and you had even more sense to message me back.”

Dorian’s eyes had grown misty, and his cheeks lightly damp with tears. Cullen pulled him close into an embrace that made the world fade away. He let his head fall to his shoulder “this is my favorite place to be” he whispered, Cullen nodded in agreement and nuzzled his head into the crook of his shoulder.


	2. Somebody to Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically all just smut; I make no promises that it's good smut. But it's smut.

He didn’t see Cullen in the living/room kitchen and the bathroom door had been open so he knew he wasn’t there. He looked around confused and finally settled on the scrap of paper with the note written in the distinguishable thin handwriting of Cullen:

Thought I would surprise you with breakfast in case you wake up before I get back. See you soon. - C

Dorian shook his head and rubbed at the bridge of his nose; he was foolish to worry or thing that Cullen would abandon him so easily in the night. The last year had been so wonderful that they had even decided to move in together. The concept of domesticity had always been considered a foolhardy idea to Dorian; he was never really one for a long-term committed relationship. Where he came from it was never really an option; it was illegal, immoral, and a downright death sentence. But here he was able to be with Cullen freely only he still feared it would disappear. 

The sound of the keys in the door shook Dorian from his melancholia and he smiled when he saw Cullen walk in holding a bag from his favorite bakery and 2 cups. 

“Hey there love, I got you the strongest, blackest, cup of caffeine that could legally prepare me.”  
Dorian laughed at Cullen’s description of his favorite drink, the southerner was far too sweet to enjoy his taste of black coffee and instead always gravitated towards a hot cocoa insead. Dorian swayed over and grabbed the items, and placed them on the counter; he snaked his arms around Cullen pulling him in a passionate kiss catching the other man off guard. 

“What was that for?” Cullen asked 

“I missed you when I woke up.”

“Mm well maybe I should surprise you with breakfast mo..hmph”

Dorian stole the rest of his words when he captured his mouth in his again, this time more aggressively than the first. He let his tongue run along the rough, winter chapped bottom lip of his lover. His hands running over his shoulders, pulling the coat from the broad shoulders. Cullen whimpered in delight at the feeling of Dorian all over him, he dropped his hands to his sides to slip the coat off and quickly let his hands find the hard muscle and soft skin hiding just beneath a thin t shirt. Dorian’s tongue pushed into Cullen’s mouth running along his teeth, flicking against his tongue playfully until Dorian sucked on it gentle causing a moan to escape Cullen’s lips. Dorian released his tongue instead biting at his lower lip. Cullen pulled away slightly, letting his forehead rest against Dorian’s.

“I didn’t realize I had missed you as much either.” He took Dorian’s hand and pulled it slowly downward till the soft hand was resting against his waiting erection. He pushed his hand against it hard and quickly grabbed at the hem of Dorian’s shirt pulling it up around his neck. He dragged his short nails down Dorian’s back slowly, feeling the man whimper against his neck. His hands reached the round firmness of ass, grabbing, and pulling him against his waist. Dorian groaned and dragged his tongue up Cullen’s neck, nipping along the way feeling the tiny welts forming on the gentle skin. He let his hand rub against the rough denim until he found the zipper. Cullen groaned and found Dorian’s mouth with his; lips mashing against lips, tongues finding tongues, hands frantically pulling at flesh and clothing. They stumbled together backwards; Dorian’s shirt finally coming off all the way, Cullens shoes being stepped out of, then his shirt being pulling off. Eventually they were in their room, topless, mouths and hands hungry for every aspect of each other; want and desire pulsing and throbbing through their bodies. 

Dorian stepped back, gasping for breath, his face red and his lips swollen. Cullen’s head fell against his shoulder panting into the musky sweat of the other man. 

“Well, we seemed to have gotten carried away, mi amor”

“It appears we have, what should we do about it?” He asked with a grin as he thrust his hips against Dorian. A strangled noise escaped his throat as his body twitched reactively. Cullen bit Dorian’s lower lip and dug his fingers into his sides, sliding his hands into the waistband of the lightweight sleep pants, slowly pulling them down. Dorian reached for the button enclosure of Cullen’s jeans and expertly undid them in one fluid movement. He let long, lithe fingers dip just inside and pulled back to look at Cullen. 

“Oh you naughty boy, you went out without your pants.” He let his fingers graze the wirey tuft of hair at the top of Cullen’s cock, slowly dragging down in a tease till he tightly gripped the hard shaft feeling it twitch at the sensation. He slowly began to jerk, using his free hand to slide the jeans down to the ground, kissing and nibbling down Cullen’s broad chest focusing on his left nipple first.Cullen let out a noise somewhere between a groan and a gasp. “Dorian…..” Dorian snickered and lowered himself to the floor in front of Cullen. He put on the most innocent look he could muster and looked up at Cullen, the want and desperation on his lovers face fueled the heat growing in his loins. He licked his lips and slowly dragged his tongue from the base of Cullen’s member to the head, lapping at the moisture that had escaped. He let one hand reach out to pinch and twist an awaiting nipple and let the other fondle the smooth balls as he engulfed Cullen’s length in his mouth. 

His hand fell from Cullen’s chest and ran down the skin rubbing and massaging, reaching around to grab his ass, he let his fingers explore finding the tight pucker; he increased the speed he moved the cock in and out of his mouth, humming in approval when Cullen’s hand soon rested on the back of his head. 

He reached down to stop Dorian, pulling him up to be eye level, finally dispensing with the last article of clothing standing between them. He pushed Dorian down onto the bed. 

“I have something in mind. Are you game to try?” Dorian looked at him puzzled, but nodded in agreement. 

“Good boy” he said as he laid next to him. “Get on your knees, and turn around facing my feet.” Dorian did as he said, meekly, waiting to see what happened. It wasn’t until Cullen had grabbed his thighs and pulled him on top of him that he understood what was going on. It took only seconds before Cullen had started to lap at Dorian’s cock, sucking on the head, wrapping his large hand around the shaft alternating between gently tugging and sucking. Dorian followed suit, repeating what he had started earlier, scooting his hand under Cullen’s thigh and pulling his leg up, giving access to the entrance that was hiding. He let his fingers continue probing and stroking, only stopping when he was struck by the wet sensation of Cullen’s tongue on his own opening. He let his mouth sink further down as the waves of pleasure washed over him. He felt his climax building as Cullen’s mouth returned to his cock only to have the tongue replaced by his fingers. He could also feel the tightening of Cullen’s balls knowing that he too would find release soon. The both increased speed and tightness until finally Dorian felt Cullen spend himself in his mouth; this action caused his own release. He turned around and crawled up to lay next to Cullen draping an arm over his chest, resting his head on his should, closing his eyes and drifting into a satiated sleep.


	3. Ready for Love

Dorian was fidgeting as he tried to get ready. He must have changed about 45 times; the majority of his clothing was strewn about the apartment. He finally settled on something basic; skinny jeans, black heeled boots, button up shirt, and just the perfect amount of jewelry. He made sure his hair was impeccable and that his make up was immaculate as he waited for his uber. 

He swore, time was slowing and that the trip to the District was much longer than it ever had been before. Once he was at the entrance Dorian felt like he was looking at the world through a fish lense by the time he stepped to the door. The sight of Bull had a grounding effect that brought him back to reality. Bull smiled and gave him a wink, which looked more like a blink since he still had a patch over his eye from a bar fight a few weeks ago. 

“Back so soon? After the fight a few weeks ago you said you wouldn’t be back?’

“Yes, well. I am pushing myself beyond that fear. Besides, how dare I not the grace on the gay bar in the city with my absurdly good looks and glowing personality?”

Bull let out a guffaw and opened the door for him. Dorian was taken back at how large the club seemed, it was nearly empty, and all of the obnoxious lights hadn’t been turned on yet. He can’t imagine a time when he had been here so early, or well on a Sunday, ever. He saw Krem at the bar and made a beeline for him. Krem smiled and gave a small wave. 

“The prodigal son has returned! Shall I fetch your favorite my queen?”

“Of course slave.” Dorian replied with a chuckle. 

Krem slid a white Russian to Dorian, and realized that Dorian was looking around but trying to do so in a way that wasn’t so obvious, and failing at it. 

“Whats up doll, you look nervous, you haven’t been like this since Drag Race was auditioning here.”

Dorian’s head snapped to attention and his face fell. “Was I that obvious? I’m supposed to be meeting someone here. But I fear my anxiety was right and that I was stood up as part of a sick joke.”

“Hmm was it the tall, handsome, and excessively nervous drink of water that ducked into the bathroom when you walked in. He looked like he needed to give himself a pep talk. He told me he was waiting to meet someone that was way too good to be true. Now that I know that it’s you I know he was right to nervous.”

Krem started to laugh, “I’ll go see if I can rustle curly from the bathroom for you, discreetly of course. Maybe it’s time for one of my infamous bathroom checks.”

“Krem, darling, there is no one here really.”

“Yea but it gives me a tickle.”

Dorian watch him walk to the bathroom with a swagger in his step; he laughed loudly when he cop knocked on the door. The door swung open almost immediately, and Krem stuck his head in looking around. He pointed to the general bar area, and Dorian was surprised to see Cullen sheepishly step out. He was rubbing the back of his neck and apologizing as a blush crept up his face. 

Dorian looked away quickly to make it apparent that he wasn’t staring at what was transpiring. Dorian stared into his drink casually spinning the stirrer between his fingers and looking generally uninterested in what was going on around him when he felt a gentle tap on the shoulder followed by someone clearing their throat. 

“Uh hey” said a quiet voice with a thick southern drawl

Dorian had turned to look at the blushing beauty before him that still had the sheepish look from Krem kicking him out of the bathroom. 

“Oh darling, please tell me that you do have more than a one word vocabulary otherwise I do fear that this will be dreadfully boring” Dorian said with a wink and flourish of his hand. 

Cullen tensed at first at the cutting words, but then relaxed when he saw the wink and the flourish. 

“Yea” he replied with a smirk. 

Dorian let out a long laugh at his play and featured for him to take the empty seat next to him. Cullen slid next to him and ordered a beer from Krem. 

“So that’s a very interesting accent you have Dorian”, Dorian was taken back as he had never really thought about his accent. He thought he had lost it years ago. 

“Why thank you darling, it does add to the air of aristocracy doesn’t it. Yours is just as lovely as well.”

Cullen blushed again. Oh this is just too delicious and much to easy Dorian thought to himself. 

The rest of the night the talked, and drank, and giggled, and stole little looks from each other, their bodies slowly growing closer. Dorian would catch the looks from Krem and the Bull every now and then; an odd look of approval mixed with relief. Krem eventually looked at them and pointed at imaginary watch on his wrist, his sign that it was time to close up. Dorian smiled and slid cash across the bar to cover their tab and tip. 

Cullen stood with him and escorted him to the door, his hand resting on the small of his back. He hailed a cab for Dorian and pulled the man into a tight hug that ended with a sweet and gentlemanly kiss goodnight: Dorian smiled and allowed his head to rest against the strong shoulder for a moment before taking his leave. 

He stared at his phone the entire ride home; he debated texting Cullen. There was such a primal feeling and connection he felt with the man he couldn’t wait to explore it further. By the time the cab arrived at his building and he reached his front door he made his decision. 

“Thank you for a lovely evening darling. I made it home, but I do hope that I will see you again soon….”

He quickly got ready for bed; unfolded his murphy bed, charged his phone, took out his contacts. He didn’t even notice the message notification before his eyes had closed and he drifted to sleep.


	4. Out of My League

Dorian groaned when he saw the time, it was only 6:32, on a Sunday, after a night out. It was way too early for this bullshit. He contemplated rolling over and going back to sleep till his stomach lurched and his bladder hinted at its agony. Dorian through off the covers and grabbed a hoodie from the pile on the chair as he made his way across the cold tile floor to the small bathroom. He stretched more and looked at his reflection checking out the stubble that was spreading across his jawline and the smudged eyeliner under his eyes. He contemplated a shower but decided that coffee and a greasy sandwich is what he needed now.

Grabbing his phone, he made his way back to the main open area, and quickly ordered food and the largest, blackest, strongest coffee and espresso concoction he could come up with and the greasiest sandwich he thought he could stomach. He used the time waiting for his delivery to tidy up his apartment, flipped up his murphy bed and put away odds and ends before idly flipping through his phone. Dorian was looking at his notifications and noticed a message on one of his dating apps; the simple “hey” made him roll his eyes and sigh. The man was gorgeous, but he was obviously straight looking for a thrill or try something once. He was getting tired of being the experimental toy for so many men. 

Against his better judgement he message the handsome Cullen back. 

He wasn’t expecting a message back so quickly, but he was half way through his breakfast when he received a reply. 

“Sup” was all it read. Dorian tossed his phone aside in disgust, this was completely pointless. He was stepping out of the shower, washing away the hangover and annoyance of his messages. 

He was surprised to see that there was another message even though he had never responded. 

“I’m sorry. I really am not very good at this”  
Dorian sighed, there was the bombshell he was waiting for. His gut instinct had been right. He decided that he was done with this shit and was going to finally call someone out on it. 

“Yea, doing what exactly? Trying to use a legitimate dating app for a hookup to cross something off your bucket list? Prove that you aren’t actually gay? Just have an experience to say that you had it? Or do you just want to fuck with some loser on a dating app?”

He tapped send with a smug satisfaction and went back to getting ready for the day. He was in the middle of applying new eyeliner when it chimed again. Dorian’s hand slipped with surprise and he poked himself in the eye. 

“Fuck” was all he could manage as he tried to blink away the ink. Once he regained his composure he steeled himself for the bashing he would be receiving. 

“Oh..um...no. Maker, does that actually happen? I.. just meant.. Well peopling…especially with someone so beautiful and out of my league.”

Dorian’s face fell a bit as he read the last message; he had been wrong. He was so use to being hurt he made an unjust assumption; he hated assumptions they were the mother of all fuck ups. 

“Look, I’m sorry. That was harsh and you didn’t deserve it. But yea that shit does happen. Why don’t take you out for a coffee or a drink to make it up to you?”

Dorian waited and paced. Paced and waited. Waited and paced. The more he waited and paced the more anxious he became. What if he didn’t answer back? What if he did? What if he didn’t want to meet? What if he did? What if he hated him? What if he liked him? 

He was flipping through Netflix when the message finally came through. 

“Yea, that would be nice. I would like that. What about the district at 7?”

…. The district….? He thought. That was the one and only gay bar downtown; he felt a little more at ease now since he would at least be surrounded by people he knew. He could rely on the bartender Krem and the bouncer Bull if things went south. 

“Yea. That sounds great; I will see you then”. 

He looked at the time and groaned. 2.13. He had no idea how he was going to get through the next couple hours…


	5. Frances Farmer Will have Her Revenge...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has depictions of self harm and mental health issues.

Dorian’s eyes flickered open at the knocking on the door to his room. He wasn’t sure what time it was, he had lost all sense of time other that what was day or not. He stopped counting the days he had been there; it was pointless to keep track as he knew he would never be leaving. He rolled over in his bed trying to ignore the persistent knocking. 

“C’mon Pavus, you owe me a game of checkers!”

Dorian recognized Cullen’s voice instantly and slowly removed himself from his thin bed. He put his robe on and slowly opened the door. 

“Oh there you are sunshine! Rise and shine. Breakfast first?”

Dorian just nodded slightly and stepped out into the dimly lit corridor. 

“I have your itinerary for the day.”

“What is it?” Dorian asked finally speaking. 

“Breakfast first, and I’m sorry Dorian, but you have another treatment scheduled for after, but hey you will have some rec time and we can get in that game of checkers”

Dorian stopped in his path looking first at the tall handsome man in front of him. He had often wondered when he first arrived, if things had been different if Cullen would have fancied a date or two with him. He had daydreams before the treatments started to rob him of them, of the two of them ice skating outside in the winter and sipping on hot chocolate or having a lazy sunday morning in bed flirting and tickling. Even the mundane things such as doing the dishes and watching television all seemed appealing with Cullen. 

“I know this isn’t what you want, but you’ve spoken to Drs. Solas and de Fer a few times about this. You know that nothing else has seemed to help you.”

Dorian only nodded; there had been many remedies over the years. Countless drugs, meditation, retreats to the desert with ayahuasca and mescaline. Behaviour modification, cognitive conditioning, art therapy, music therapy, talk therapy. He even swam with a pod of freaking dolphins and attempted to have multiple curses removed from his past lives. 

Dorian couldn’t quite recall when it exactly started, when the torment that haunted his dreams and snaked its way into his waking world. He remembers being only 4 or 5 when his imaginary friend first started making his appearances but like most parents his assumed that it was a normal phase, and eventually Cole disappeared as quickly as he reappeared. Besides, Cole had always been nice to him. But then something happened, the voices started. At first Dorian thought that they were whispers from kids in his class and he would turn and glare at them as they disrupted his lesson. It was never them though, and soon he was being ostracized and being dubbed the spooky kid. He started to see them soon, a flicker of a shadow out of the corner of his eye; a flare of a light bulb. The whispers turned into screams, and the screams would cut through Dorian until all he could do was slump to the ground and stare up at Cole hanging like a spider in the furthest, highest, corner of the room.

But just like that it would stop and Dorian would go being “normal” again. He had a girlfriend, and quickly realized that she was great as friend to shop and gossip with, but that her brother was whom he was actually attracted to. He enrolled in a local college and studied art history and joined the rugby team and was able to find a boyfriend in a fellow player. He started to relax and feel at ease in his mind and his skin. 

Only it was the same as it always was; as soon as something good started to happen the voice and the images would start again and always worse than the time before. He hid it well for the most part always trying something different to try and make it better or to make it go away. All he wanted was for it to go away. He needed Cole to stop and never come back. 

He started to pick at himself, slowly at first finding that the pain was a welcome distraction, but even that wouldn’t always work. He started to do more, picking small bleeding holes into his scalp; never letting them heal, always keeping them open and raw. Then one fateful day he tripped and fell, something everyone has done at least once in their life, but this time the feeling of his skull hitting cold concrete stopped everything for a week. 

Dorian went out with his friends that he had been avoiding, his boyfriend that had stood by him through all of this was there with him relieved to see the shine in his eyes again. 

It creeped up on him, slow at first, it was hard for him to tell if it was just the lights and shadows from the throng of people or something… else. He excused himself to the bathroom for a moment of solitude only to be followed by the shadows. He started to shake and quiver staring at his reflection in the mirror. His face had become jaunt and there were dark circles and a tiredness that crept along his face. 

He was only vaguely aware of a commotion outside of the door. Bull crashed through the door, using his best rugby moves only stop in his tracks at the sight of Dorian hitting his head against the mirror over and over. Blood was trickling down his face and shards of glass were scattered about the floor, sink, and even on his person. Bull rushed to him, grabbing him hard by the shoulders. 

“Jesus fucking Christ Dorian, what the fuck did you do to yourself.” he wrapped the still shaking man in his strong arms. “What were you thinking, huh? Why didn’t you come get me?” 

Dorian couldn’t answer, he just stared into the ceiling corner, Cole having morphed into a grotesque distorted thing with a grin that stretched unnaturally across his entire face showing a mouth full of razor sharp teeth. 

Bull was shaking him now, trying to get him to snap to attention; instead he pulled out his phone to hail an Uber. “C’mon, we are getting you to the ER.”

That was the last time that Dorian had been out in the real world; at the beginning his friends and Bull would visit. He was being medicated on an experimental cocktail that while didn’t stop everything kept them tempered and from hurting himself. Eventually though, it stopped, they always stopped after while. He doesn’t remember when the doctor’s suggested the electroconvulsive therapy, but there was desperation in their eyes, in his parent’s and in Felix’s (the only one of his friends that still came to visit). The look on their faces prompted him to agree, his own desperation for an end drove him to agree. 

The first few treatments helped and calmed the tempest in his head. He started to dream of the life he always wanted with a loving husband, a dog, a cat, he would even take a damn goldfish. But the pain and the agony of the treatment was too much for him; it wasn’t physical pain so much. No, it was more that as the time passed and he had more treatments he lost his memories, he lost his dreams. 

He had been lost in his the few memories that he had that he hadn’t realized that the time had come for his next treatment. Cullen had shook him back to the real world and was guiding him up and to the treatment room. He hesitated at the door, the fluorescent light casting a sick light on it. Doctor de Fer was waiting for him, with a shift nurse. 

“Hello Dorian, how are we doing today? This is Cassandra, she will be helping us today.”

Cassandra smiled but rolled her eyes at the uppity doctor asking “how are we today”. He felt at ease with her and for a moment forgot about the rolling blackness in the corner of the room. He took his seat on the bed and laid back allowing the prep work to begin. 

The faint sound of music filled the air around him and he looked over as the machine hummed to life. 

“It’s so relieving to know that you’re leaving……… I miss the comfort in being sad”

Dorian sighed and looked over at the machine. He tried to make out the letters of the brand name, arranging them and rearranging until he was able to make out tranquility. These were the last moments of reality before he closed his eyes and drifted into one, last, dream….


	6. Epilogue

Cullen lightly knock on the door as he peered through the small observation window; he could see Dorian standing in the middle of the room swaying softly as he stared out the window. He didn’t stir at the knocks or when it opened. 

“Hey buddy” he said in a gentle voice, he put a soft hand on Dorian’s shoulder and turned him to be facing. He looked at the hair growth on the smooth and handsome face. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here in a while. I went to visit Mia and her kids. I can show you some pictures later. But what do you say we get you cleaned up first and get some breakfast.” 

Dorian didn’t say anything, just let a small half smile creep to his lips. 

Cullen set to work getting Dorian to the small ensuite bathroom for a shave before taking him to the common room. Dorian still didn’t talk, he just shuffled beside Cullen to a table. He sat and waited staring off into space only looking up when Cullen had returned; he stood suddenly and wrapped his arms around Cullen in a tight hug. Cullen allowed the hug and guided him back to the table taking the empty chair next to him. Dorian sat and let his head fall to Cullen shoulder as he nibbled at his food; his face had lit up slightly but the light was still gone from the sad grey eyes.

Cullen just sat and grieved the sorry state of the young man. 

“Alright buddy, I have to go make some rounds. I’ll make sure to come back and show you the pictures from my trip ok?”

Dorian looked down, his face having fallen slightly. 

Cullen walked away and to the small office located next to the common room. He started his notes from the day and read through the chart notes from his absence. 

2019, 04 15 17:02  
Shift change; patient is agitated at the news that orderly Rutherford will be away for a few days. May need to have a sedative ordered if behavior continues. 

2019, 04 16 13: 30  
No change in patient, would not allow any other individuals to help him dress or clean up. Refuses to eat; may need to be admitted for intravenous nutrition support. 

2019, 04 17 13:46  
Patient is still non-communicative will little to none recognition or acknowledgement to outside stimuli.  
2019, 04 22 10:22  
Patient has apparently regressed fully in a world of fantasy. Patient appears to have incorporated orderly Rutherford into his fantasy. The only time there is significant change in demeanor is when orderly Rutherford is in his presence. 

Cullen sighed at the last note baring today’s date. He had hopped Dorian would have improved and regained some of the spark that he had before he started his treatment at the facility. 

He shoved the file aside and rubbed the back of his neck looking through the large picture window to where Dorian sat staring at nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since I fear I wouldn't do this right...  
> The basic premise was that the first 4 chapters were all in Dorians head. None of them happened. And each time he received a "treatment" he fell deeper into that fantasy till he couldnt escape.


End file.
